Why Being a Loner is SO Much Better than being in the Crowd (Part 2)

The word "loner" tends to have a negative connotation. It usually means someone that is socially isolated or awkward, but I have learned to value this term and make it acceptable. We all wish to be part of a social circle, and sometimes, we change our behavior to do so. But what if you just don't fit in? Yeah, this happens more often than not. I personally, have never fitted into a group or social circle. I have always been that person who was "just different." My perspectives on life and my unwillingness to follow the crowd has left me in solitude, but I have learned to embrace it. Being alone is not always the most desirable thing to be, but it has helped me grow tremendously, and I will give you my reasons why being a loner is better than fitting into a crowd.

1. Not being easily influenced.

Most people who are members of large social circles tend to be influenced by the actions of their counterparts. Luckily, as a loner, I don't have to deal with this. I do not have to deal with the constant pressure of wanting to engage in bad behaviors or change my behaviors to match those of others. Large groups can influence people to do good or bad things, but we all know that mostly bad things come to surface. Smoking, drinking, partying, drug use, and hooking up are just some of the behaviors that are pushed onto people. As a loner, I am only influenced by myself and I engage in activities if I truly want to do them.

2. More time for Self-Care.

One of the most oblivious aspects of being in a large crowd is time consumption. Having one relationship takes up a significant amount of time, but having many relationships really sucks up time. Constantly being pulled by both arms can eliminate alone time, and self-care, which are things we all need sometimes. Always going out and partying can take away from sleep, homework, or just relaxing and catching up. When you are a loner, you have more time to indulge in reading that book, getting that pedicure, or just taking a nap. In addition, you have more time to cater to relationships that actually matter, and you can better invest yourself in them.

3. You will attract people more like YOU.

Oftentimes, being in a crowd usually means being surrounded by people with similar interests, but is everyone really on the same page? Not really. Most people in crowds get caught up in a psychological concept called group think, which is refraining from speaking up against the interests of the group in order to keep harmony. When this happens, people are usually burning on the inside and they may feel a sense of cognitive dissonance. This is a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, which is why I am happy that I do not have to experience this. Being a loner means that you will attract people more like yourself because these relationships will take more effort and investment. In addition, these relationships are more likely to last longer and they will be more enjoyable. Another past time of mine is people watching because I get to figure out how others behave and why they engage in certain behaviors. This helps me pick and choose who I want in my life and who I want to avoid.

4. You will be HAPPIER

Being alone may make some people sad, but this only happens when these individuals have not found inner peace and have not came to fully accept themselves. If you constantly need to be around people to have a better mood, then you may have some self-work to do. But, since I been a loner, I am at the happiest state I have ever been in. Being my true self is the most liberating feeling in the world. It has caused me to become careless and free. I am able to openly state my opinions, do what I want, how I want, without worrying about the opinions of others. Many people in large crowds hide their true selves because they fear the judgment of others. Thankfully, this is not a worry for me. I could care less what others think of me because I am me, and I will never change. God made me this way for a reason, so I might as well accept it!

Being a loner sounds damaging to some people, but it is liberating for me. Since I learned to have peace within myself, I am able to be my own person unapologetically. I no longer care what people think of me, and I will never change my behavior to satisfy anyone's judgment. If you are struggling with accepting yourself and your own identity, please come back to this article. I hope one day you find peace and you will be able to remove the mask that is killing you inside.