What its like Wanting a Serious Relationship in a Hook-up Culture

Dating in today's world is extremely difficult. People text for conversations, argue over phone calls, and phub while on dates. It can be really tough trying to find a serious relationship with all this going on. Oh, and I forgot the most important aspect - hookups. Instead of going out on dates and getting to truly know someone, people just go to a party, get drunk, hookup, and then BOOM a relationship magically appears. A few months later, they found out they do not want to be together and ghost each other. Yeah, that's how most relationships start and end these days, but what happens for people who want to do it the old- school way?

I have never been the type to indulge in the hookup culture. I have too much respect for myself, my body, and my reputation. Plus, I would rather have one person who I can be intimate with and always there for me instead of having inconsistent company. Needless to say, I like doing things the old-school way. I like romantic dates where the guy picks you up from home with flowers in his hand, as opposed to ordering a pizza and watching Netflix at his place. I like holding hands, phone calls, and romantic love notes. I like when the guy covers the bill instead of having to split it. I just feel that people in this generation do not know what it means to truly invest in a relationship.

We live in a generation where people use memes to get their feelings across and post pictures of "relationship goals," yet, no one is doing any internal work to have a healthy relationship. Dating and relationships require INVESTMENT, and many people do not understand that. Slowly trying to get to know someone and spending time with them are investments in that relationship. Hooking up then ordering takeout is not an investment, its an get out of jail free card.

It is HARD finding a healthy relationship in a hookup culture. Almost every guy I ever dated or talked to wanted to sleep with me, and if I said no, they got really upset and refused to continue dating me. That is really frustrating, especially when you place a high value on yourself.

If you are in the same situation as me, I sympathize with you. My best advice is to never change who you are to meet the expectations of others. Keep being a genuine person and love will soon find you. Real love does not lie between the sheets, it grows in the heart.