Signs of a Jealous/Fake Friend (PART I)

We as people are social beings by nature. We crave companionship and love and we are fueled by having supportive people in our lives. Having good relationships and love is so detrimental that it is the third need on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. But what happens when those people are plagued by the green-eyed monster?

Jealousy and envy tend to be common in many relationships, especially if the people in them are not necessarily on the same page. For example, if you are a successful business owner with great wealth, and you have a friend working in retail, then there may be some jealousy present in the relationship. People tend to get jealous when they feel inferior to another person, so they just retaliate with negative behaviors and feelings. I'm sure we have all had bad experiences with friendships and did not know exactly why problems arose, but jealousy could be the answer. Due to my negative experiences in friendships, I have came up with several signs that indicate that you may have a jealous/fake friend.

1. They talk badly about you behind your back.

This should be a no brainer, but some people are better at faking than others. If this person is ridiculously nice while in your presence, then that should be a sign right there. Nobody is that nice, and real friends are honest, sometimes to the point where it comes off as being too blunt. In addition, if this person talks about other people to you, then what do you think they are doing when they are not around you? Just let that friendship go, honey!

2. They constantly criticize you.

Remember that kid in grade school who always made a comment after EVERYTHING the teacher said? Annoying right. If your friend does this to you, then they may be jealous of you. If they always have a comment about what you do, what you wear, how you look, or any of your successes, then they have been plagued. I had a friend who just could not let me live. She constantly criticized me to the point that I no longer wanted to be around her. I would rather be alone all day than to spend time with her. It was just that bad. As soon as she saw me she would say, "wow, you have on another new outfit?" Or if I did my makeup, she would say, "Do you always have to wear makeup?" Yeah, that's what I dealt with all day long. Needless to say, I am glad that friendship is over!

3. They are NEVER happy for you.

The best test for a friendship is to see if they are truly happy for you. Sometimes it can be hard to tell if someone is truly happy for you or not, because some people are skilled at hiding behind their masks. If you tell a friend about your new promotion on the job and if they respond with a dry, "Oh, well how did you get THAT opportunity?" or dryly saying, "Oh, that's good." Or let's say that your friend is desperately single, and you start dating that new cutie in your class. You finally tell your friend and they respond with, "Are you serious? They are not even that cute," followed by several other negative comments, then they are sipping on some haterade. As soon as you tell a friend good news, they should be jumping for joy and their first reaction should be happiness and congratulating you, not looking for a flaw. If their first response is a criticism or something negative, then they are jealous of you.

4. They drain your energy.

A real friend who is supportive uplifts you and puts energy into you. If you hang out with a person who makes you tired after hanging out with them, then it is time to let that friendship go! You know what you feel in your gut and you know if your feelings are right or wrong. Also, if you have to vent to other friends about this particular individual every time you encounter them, then you really need to make changes. Relationships and friendships should involve even give and take. If you are doing all of giving and they are just taking from you, then there is a huge problem. People who are energy drainers are ALWAYS negative! They never have anything good to say about anything, and they have a problem with everything. Please, let these people go!

5. They are all fine and dandy until you show up.

This sign can be obvious at times, but also difficult. Let's say that you and your friend group made plans to have dinner. You are the last one to arrive and you see your group at the table, anxiously awaiting for you to come; besides that one jealous friend. The jealous friend is smiling, laughing, and enjoying themselves, until you show up. Their frown turns upside down. As the dinner proceeds, that friend is being negative, bashing you, and trying to humiliate you. This is a clear sign of a HATER! Your friends should be happy to see you, not upset out of jealously. Also, watch the people who suddenly get a bad mood when you come around or pretend to be "sick" or "irritated." Yeah, they are sick and irritated from their immense jealousy! Keep in mind that when a person does this, they do NOT want you to have any attention, so they must make it all about them. These people are not healthy for you. Never be around people who crave to be the center of attention, its not worth it.

6. They copy you.

Have you ever got a new outfit, pair of shoes, or went to a new place and you friend turned around and did it the very next day or a few days later? Yeah, that's a HATER! Sometimes friends enjoy the same things, and that is fine. But, you must be cognizant when they start to become jealous. If you recommend a new venue or restaurant to them, and they go, then that is different. But if you just bought a new shirt, and your friend got the same one the next day and they come and flaunt it in your face, then jealously is embedded in that relationship. I remember I had friend who did this to me. I bought a designer handbag over Christmas break, and she knew nothing about designer brands. She asked me what the name of the bag was, and I told her. And no kidding, she got the SAME EXACT bag as me the very next day! It was crazy! Friends like that are not good for us. Remember that your haters want to be you! A real friend is so secure within themselves and embrace their individuality so much that they would not care to have the same things that you have, because they are so happy with themselves.

Jealousy and envy are negative feelings that no one wishes to experience. These feelings can grow worse in a friendship. If you have experienced any of these signs with a friend, then you may want to reconsider the friendship. A friendship is supposed to be positive and uplifting and the person should help you to grow into a better version of yourself. If that person is doing the opposite, you may have a problem on your hands. Know your worth when it comes to people and never let anyone dull your shine, not even a fake friend.