The 7 Steps to Self-Love


Having self-confidence is the foundation to success in life, but it is also one of the hardest aspects to obtain. With the rise of social media, self-comparison, and negative experiences in relationships, it is harder than ever to feel good about yourself. Luckily, there are ways to overcome this burden. Below, I will discuss my seven steps that have helped me become more confident in my own skin while reaching higher levels of success.

1. Enhance your flaws

Everyone has insecurities that eat away at your confidence, but the best way to overcome this is to enhance your flaws! Make the one thing you hate about yourself the most the thing that you love the most. For example, people would make fun of me because I have big lips, so instead of beating myself up about it, I put on lipstick to show them off! Now I feel more confident with my lips. So if you have a body part that you don't like or another characteristic that makes you feel insecure, embrace it and you'll learn to love it.

2. Make Yourself Proud

One of the easiest ways to obtain true self-love and confidence is to reach your goals! Go get that promotion, study for that test, or travel around the country, whatever makes you feel good, DO IT. Engage in activities that are productive and will help to maximize your success. The more you accomplish, the better you feel about yourself, thus making you eager to reach for bigger goals!

3. Mind Manipulation and Positive Self-Talk

Instead of having an " I can't" mindset, have an "I can, I will, and I do" mindset. Your thoughts ultimately control your life, and if you have negative thoughts, you will have a negative life and vice versa. Manipulate your mind to illicit only positive thoughts and as soon as a negative thought develops, erase it immediately. Also, learn to positively talk to yourself and treat yourself nicely. Instead of saying, "I'm such a failure," say, "I had one downfall, but I will keep on trying!" Having a growth mindset is the key to success and a higher quality of life. Control your thoughts and watch how you talk to yourself.

4. Never Compare Yourself to Other People

The moment you look at what someone else has on their plate, your food gets cold. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT compare yourself to other people because you will always come up short. You will never be able to reach true confidence and self-love if you are worried about other people. Comparing yourself to others only generates feelings of inadequacy, so just don't do it. Focus on yourself and compare yourself to the person YOU were yesterday and try to be a better you.

5. Learn to Identify Positive Things about Yourself

Focusing on the negative is way easier than focusing on the positive, but this does not help in obtaining true self-love. Look at yourself everyday and point out different things you like about yourself. You can start with your physical appearance first, then work your way to the inside. No joke, I wake up everyday and look in the mirror and tell myself, "You are beautiful, you are intelligent, you are able, and you will be great." This is such a great start to my day because it gives me the confidence to tackle the day's challenges. Please do this and you will see how good you feel!

6. Stay away from Vampires

If you want to have true self-love, you MUST stay away from negative people. I have a name for these individuals, they are better known as vampires. Vampires are the people who suck the energy out of you with their negativity. Vampires are not happy with their own lives and they have their own insecurities they have not yet addressed. STAY FAR, FAR AWAY! It is no secret that other people can change how we feel about ourselves, and you cannot hang out negative people and expect to feel good about yourself. Surround yourself with positive, hard-working people who will have a good influence on you.

7. Connect with God

This is my favorite step to self-love. There's nothing like feeling the Holy Spirit, and when you are in God's presence, you can't help but to feel amazing! Connecting with God will make you become so confident because God thinks so highly of us and we are the apple of His eye. Once you know and believe that, you will be UNSTOPPABLE. God loves us so much, so why can't we learn to love ourselves?

Having confidence is not the easiest in today's culture, but there are ways to overcome your insecurities. Always remember that self-love is the key to having a better life. Once you have that, you have officially set the foundation for being unstoppable and capable for more success. I challenge you to incorporate these steps in your daily life. I guarantee that you will feel better and will have more confidence.