How to Deal with Haters

09/29/2018

Everyone has haters whether we realize it or not. Haters are people who tend to be jealous and wish that they could be you. Haters come in various forms, such as your friends, family, coworkers, bosses, roommates, neighbors, significant others, and church members. Ironically, haters tend to be the people who are closest to you, which is why it is pertinent to realize who they are and deal with them accordingly.

Let's be real, no one likes a hater and no one wants to be a hater, but it is a sad reality in our culture. Everyone is constantly competing and trying to "out-do" the next person instead of worrying about themselves. This type of behavior only fuels jealousy and it can be toxic. But, instead of dealing with this negativity, I am going to reveal to you how to deal with haters the right way.

Understand Why They are Hating in the First Place.

People can be envious others others for several different reasons. Some examples are: being attractive, being intelligent, having a high-paying job, getting a new car, having confidence, dressing well, having a healthy relationship, having a positive attitude, and many more! We do not always understand why some people are jealous of us, and this can be confusing, especially if their behaviors change toward you. If a person is hating on you and you notice it, try to evaluate them and notice things that they are lacking in their own life. For example, if you just got a job with a six-figure salary and your friend is struggling to find a new job, and they presenting animosity toward you; then they are clearly jealous. This is a reasonable example because it happens frequently; someone gets what we always wanted and now we are upset. But instead of hating on them, just work harder! In addition, if someone is hating on you because they are lacking something, try to have empathy for them instead of taking it personally. Keep in mind, that haters externally show their negative feelings to you, but in reality, they are having an internal battle. So, the next time you run into someone who is hating on you, just remember this and deal with them nicely. And keep a mental note that "its them and not me."

NEVER (and I mean NEVER) Try to Reconcile with Them.

Some people fall guilty of trying to address someone else's jealous feelings, and I'm telling you now that this is very inappropriate. You should NEVER address a hater for hating, simply because they will never admit it! No one is going to come clean and say that they are jealous of you, because its embarrassing and no one wants to be known as "the hater." On the other hand, some people are really bold and will tell you how they really feel. I had a friend (now ex-friend) in high school tell me that she no longer wanted to be my friend because I was "too pretty" and all the guys wanted me. Seriously? Who has time for that!? So if you get a hater that tells you they are hating, then you should just stay out of their way, trust me, I know.

Be Mindful of What You Say, Do, Eat, and Drink Around Them.

This one is probably one of the most important for safety reasons. I know people who were jealous of others that put drugs in their food and drink. You have to be careful around jealous people! Also, watch your mouth around haters. As soon as they find out you are struggling or any negative information about you, it is their opportunity to finally be on top; and they will take that information and run with it. Really, it is best to just stay away and be silent around your haters. Additionally, be mindful of the haters who like to destroy things. I recently had my tires slashed by a group of haters, and I felt scared for a while, but it clearly has not stopped me!

DON'T Change who you are to Accommodate Them.

PLEASE DON'T DO IT! One thing haters want is for you to be on their level. Don't do it! Don't dummy down your appearance, get bad grades, or feel low because of them, instead, use their negative energy as a positive reinforcement for yourself and elevate your status! If a person is jealous of you for your new hairstyle, then keep getting that hairstyle and even better styles to make them even more mad! Just keep doing you because their hate won't change.

Ignore them and Keep Doing YOU!

Yass!! If a person is hating on you, then they clearly want what you have, they want to be you, and they think that YOU are better than THEM. Clearly these individuals have some self-esteem problems that you do not exude, so forget them! Keep being fabulous, keep being successful, and keep rising to the top because haters will always be at the bottom. Remember: haters have a problem within themselves and not you. They have a deep insecurity that they cannot fix, so instead of doing internal work, they target you instead. When you pose a threat, you will always be the target.