Don’t be Too Easy — Make Him Earn The Prize!

12/14/2018

It is no secret that dating in modern times is different than the old days. Everything is ran through technology. Text messages are the main form of communication, social media is the foundation of assumptions, and phone calls come in rare form. This trend seems to be popular, but it is only drifting couples apart. One main aspect of dating that is becoming prevalent in the new era is that women are doing the pursuing while men are getting lazy. This topic is controversial, but hear me out.

Many women complain that they "can't find a good man" or that "there aren't any good men left." But in reality, there are PLENTY of good men out here, but you have to STOP CHASING THEM! Let the men chase you. Ladies, when a man is truly interested in you and wants to invest in you, nothing will stop them from doing so. A man who truly wants to be with you will call you, text you, take you out, pay for dates, respect you and your boundaries, and overall try to improve himself for YOU and the relationship. And if he does not do these things, then just move on. This is why you need to make a man earn the prize.

With that being said, ladies, STOP sleeping with these men on the first date, STOP constantly calling/texting him first, STOP planning all of the dates, STOP going above and beyond for his attention, and STOP projecting these desperate behaviors. The reason you need to stop these behaviors is so you can see what his INTENTIONS are. When you relax and let him do the work, you will be getting the treatment you have longed for. Men are biologically wired to CHASE after things that they want, so if they WANT you, then they will go after you. Also Ladies, the best way to get a man's attention is to stop giving him yours. Believe me.

Another important piece that must be addressed is presentation and accountability. If you feel like you constantly attract bad boys or jerks, then maybe you are the problem. Look in the mirror and do some self-reflection. How are you presenting yourself? Do you dress classy or slutty? What is your presence on social media? What is your current life situation? Are you in school or working? All of these factors play a part in what type of men that you are attracting. If you are showing all of your body on social media or posting drama, then that's what you will attract. So, if you are tired of experiencing the same cycle, then do some changes within yourself.

Next is talking about accountability. Most of the time, people claim that they want one thing, but their actions show another. For example, if you really want a relationship, but the new person you are dating says that they are not "looking for anything serious" and you agree to it; chances are that you will end up upset. Simply because you are not holding yourself accountable for what you want, which is the relationship. Don't settle for less because you like a person; it will only get you hurt. Instead, find someone with the same intentions as you and you'll find more success in your dating life.

Dating is not what is used to be, and it is easy to give up hope, but you can and WILL find the person of your dreams! Stop chasing after men and let them come after you. Hold yourself accountable and have a better representation of yourself. It is easy to blame others for our life situations, but sometimes we are actually the problem. Dating can be frustrating but it does not have to be if you make these simple changes in your life. I guarantee that you will see a difference in your relationship outcomes.


© 2018 Da'Ja'Nay Askew. All rights reserved.
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